To you, sex toys might be among many options for you and your partner to enjoy yourselves, together or alone. To your partner, though, they might seem downright intimidating. This can result in some awkward conversations, both in and out of the bedroom.
Fortunately, though, the “sex toy discussion” doesn’t have to be frustrating for you or terrifying for your partner. Here are several simple insights and tricks to help you and your lover get on the same “vibe” when it comes to sex toys in the relationship:
Communicate.
Although sex toys can bring a new level of intensity to your sexual escapades, it’s a topic that requires a conversation in advance. Pulling a pair of fuzzy handcuffs or a butt-plug out of the side drawer while in the heat of the moment isn’t usually the best approach.
Take the time to discuss bringing sex toys into the relationship with your partner well before the opportunity presents itself. Be open and honest about what you would like from your adventure together, and encourage open and honest feedback from your partner.
When your partner knows what to expect and feels heard, exploring sex toys can go a lot more smoothly… and enjoyably.
Calm their ego.
One of the most common reasons people of both genders are hesitant to try sex toys is because they feel toys are “replacements” for the real thing. They may worry that they are not able to satisfy you on their own.
Take the time to reassure them that this isn’t the case. Let them know their sexual prowess is plenty for you, and that they’re not letting you down or disappointing you in any way.
Sex toys can enhance the intimacy couples experience together – they’re not meant to replace this intimacy. Remind them that these are new experiences meant to make a good thing better, not to make a bad thing okay.
Shop together (online, of course).
Another reason sex toys can be intimidating is because your partner simply doesn’t know what different types of toys are and what they do. There are so many sex toys in all kinds of shapes, sizes, and colors, it can be easy to become overwhelmed.
By shopping online together, you and your partner can share honest feedback with each other. You can educate your partner about different types of toys and how they can enhance your combined pleasure.
Start slow.
If sex toys are totally new to your partner, that 12” strap-on might not be the best place to start. Work with your partner to choose starter toys that let you both explore outside your comfort zones, without intimidation or discomfort.
While introducing sex toys to your partner can feel awkward, the benefits they can bring are well worth those few uneasy moments. By working together, you can integrate sex toys in a way that improves your relationship, both in and out of the bedroom.
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